The Ellevest Dictionary is a series where we dig into popular money trends and parse them out — what they are, how they came to be, and what it can all mean for you. 

To prenup or not to prenup? That is not the question, but it certainly is a question. And one that a lot of couples have trouble answering. That’s because there are a lot of misconceptions about what a prenup is, exactly, or who needs one. Spoiler alert: it’s not just celebrities, CEOs, and heiresses.

We partnered with the good folks at HelloPrenup to give you a primer on prenuptial agreements — and help demystify a document that's unfairly maligned. 

What is a “prenuptial agreement”?

Simply put, a prenup is a legal contract entered into before marriage that outlines how assets will be held during marriage and divided in the event of a divorce or death. While traditionally associated with the wealthy, prenups have become a practical choice for all couples who want clarity and control over their financial futures.  

You may already know that prenups help the consciously-uncoupled decide how to divvy up their assets, wealth, and debt during a split. But prenups can also help make other aspects of divorce easier, too. They can include certain lifestyle clauses that determine, for example, the custody of pets, or what happens in the event of infidelity. You can even include things like “goodwill clauses,” which have become more common in recent years. These clauses prevent a former spouse from trashing you publicly on social media or other forums. 

Prenups have become increasingly popular as conversations about the importance of financial independence and security become more mainstream. In fact, the normalization of prenups in contemporary culture has a lot to do with the advent of the women’s liberation movement. 

As women won greater and greater battles in the struggle for gender equality — like the right to divorce, the right to work, the right to vote, the right to own property, and so on — they had so much more to lose entering (and leaving) marital relationships. 

Later, the rise of dual-income households, the prevalence of late marriages, and the accumulation of pre-marital assets have made prenups a practical choice for more and more women than just the Real Housewives or Britney Spears. 

The Ellevest take

We know that talking about prenups can feel a little … unromantic. Because no one wants to talk about contractual agreements with their soulmate. But marriages are also technically contractual agreements, aren’t they?  

At Ellevest, we believe in removing the stigma around money talks, even when it comes to marriage. And that doesn’t have to be a totally dispassionate conversation. Discussing a prenup can ‌strengthen your relationship by ensuring that both parties have a clear understanding of their financial rights and expectations. 

You can use the conversation to build intimacy between you and your partner — when both of you can have an open and vulnerable conversation about your money, it enables you to be open and vulnerable about other things, too. 

We see prenups as a proactive approach to financial planning. It's about protecting your individual financial interests and empowering yourself in a partnership — which aligns perfectly with our mission to help women achieve their best financial selves.

How to approach prenuptial agreements

Maybe you’re already planning the wedding, or maybe you’re just scrolling through dating apps. Either way, it’s never too early to learn how to talk to your partner about money. Here’s some advice from the HelloPrenup experts on initiating the convo: 

Start the conversation early: Begin discussing finances early in your relationship — you can start by talking about your own relationship to money, or how you’d like your relationship to money to be. When the relationship starts getting serious, you can approach the conversation more pointedly. You can start with, “I’m looking forward to building a life with you, and I was thinking it was a good time for us to discuss what our financial future looks like together.” Introducing the idea of a prenup early on can make it a natural part of your financial planning together.

Educate yourself and your partner: Understand how a prenup can protect your assets and benefit both of you. HelloPrenup has a number of free educational resources that you can bring into those conversations with you. This mutual understanding can remove much of the tension and stigma that might be associated with it. 

Keep the lines of communication open: Discussing a prenup can reveal a lot about each other’s values, fears, and financial goals. This transparency is crucial not just for financial planning but for building a strong, enduring relationship. When you have the conversation productively, a prenup can actually help both parties feel more safe and secure in a relationship. And that’s pretty romantic, if you ask us. 

Need more 1:1 guidance? Plan for your financial future together and get on track to reach all of your big, overlapping financial goals with our Couples' Financial Planning + Unlimited Support.