Maybe you're thinking about the fact that women are now widely reported to be better at investing than men. Or maybe your financial advisor just doesn’t seem to get you. You’re feeling like you want out.

So, you start to dial his number, one last time. But then you remember how he helped you get a mortgage on your first house, or the time he helped you divide your assets after you got divorced, or the fact that he’s been your financial advisor for 20 years. Are your standards unreasonably high?

As a financial advisor, I hear from women who feel this way a lot. But we spend so much time making sure we have good doctors to protect our health and good caretakers to protect our kids. Isn't it time we start vetting our financial advisors the same way?

So here are four good reasons to break up with that financial advisor who might be holding your bottom line back.

1. You’re way more committed than they are

First, let me tell you: Financial advisors know that once they’ve hooked a client, that client is likely to stick with them for a very long time. In fact, one study found that over a three year period, the number of new clients added per advisor steadily declined.

That financial advisor depends on your decision to stay put. They know that if they keep doing what they’ve always done, you’re still probably going to stay. (I once actually heard an advisor at a big bank tell clients that he knew they weren’t staying because of his level of service — they were staying because they would always feel too guilty to fire him.)

2. They just don’t communicate

In another survey, the top reason advisors said they’d been fired by their clients was lack of timely communication.

You deserve to have your financial advisor listen to you — about everything from your goals and investment preferences to making changes that will allow your values to be reflected in your investment portfolio. If you tell him that you want to move your portfolio to an environmentally friendly set of funds, he should listen … and then move your portfolio.

And if something big happens in your life, you should feel comfortable enough with your financial advisor that you give them a call, shoot them an email, or send them a text. And you should know that they’re going to a) care and b) listen.

And you deserve to have them tell you important information, too. You don’t have to stand for any of that “Don’t you worry your pretty little head, I’ll take care of everything” baloney. (Or that “Can you put your husband on the phone?” baloney.)

3. They aren’t pulling their weight around here

OK, real talk: If someone reporting to you at work didn’t listen to you and didn’t do the job, you’d (probably) fire them. If a romantic partner never returned your calls, you’d (definitely) be out of there.

Your interests are more important than your financial advisor’s interests. Make sure everyone’s on the same page about that — and that they’re actually doing the things to make it true.

(Oh, and btw, research shows that women investment managers earn higher investing returns than men. Why? Because they trade less — and making trades costs money.)

4. Your values aren’t aligned

I’ve had so many women ask me if it’s OK to part ways with an financial advisor who doesn’t align with their core values. To which I say a resounding: yes. (Especially if they hit you with some 1995-era nonsense like investing for your values means you’ll be giving up on returns.) Say goodbye to that financial advisor and hello to someone who can help you invest with an impact lens.

Of course, it’s not just about the financial advisor — the firm is important, too. Is their team diverse? Do they sneak forced arbitration clauses into their agreements? Find a firm that truly supports you instead.

The relationships we have with our financial advisors affect almost every aspect of our lives — our money is what allows us to do things like support our loved ones, start great businesses, and leave corporate jobs for something more meaningful. So why should this be any different?

Looking to break up with your financial advisor? We made you an email template:

Dear [name of your soon-to-be old advisor],

​​I want to let you know that I’ve decided to commence a financial advisory and investment relationship with Ellevest. You have been a solid advisor to me over the years, and I am deeply grateful. 

I’ve found that Ellevest has a clear and consistent focus on both investing for impact and investing for women — something that very much resonates with me.

I will commence the manager transition process on the Ellevest side, and there shouldn’t be much needed from your team. In the case that something does come up, I am copying [add name here], who is helping me with the account transfer process.

Again, I am appreciative of your advice over the years. Wishing you all the best.

All the best,